24

In two weeks I will be turning 24...

This is the first year I am not looking forward to my birthday. I am not quite sure why. I don't have a desire to celebrate my b-day and I haven't even made my wishlist. I usually make a wishlist for my birthday, but tell no one about it and then I wait and see how many of the things I wanted I actually got. It's almost a test of how well my friends and family know me.

All I wanted for my birthday was to take the day off and go to the beach or go to a spa or have a shopping day with mom. But I might be traveling soon so I can't be wasteful with PTO days at work. :/

Last night at group we had a woman come and speak to us about a retreat. She asked if anyone of us desires more from life or from our spiritual life. My hand rushed up in the air because if I can point my finger on any emotion I have been feeling lately it would have to be desire...desire for more. I seek depthness. This woman also said that this retreat is good if you have to make some decisions in your life (i.e. vocation, career path). At least those are the two that stuck out most. As this woman spoke I felt my heart on fire. As if God was saying "D, you gotta go!" So me being obessesed with signs said, "Ok God...if you want me there then have someone go with me. Beacuse I am definitely not going by myself." I didn't think anyone would go because two of my close friends had already been on this retreat and the other two I wasn't sure of. So I figured if He really wanted me there, this would be a good sign. As soon as the lady was done speaking, my friend Chuwi said she'd go. I was elated and surprised.

The retreat is next weekend which would be the weekend I could celebrate my birthday. Which got me thinking...I may not want to do anything for my birthday but God does. So I will celebrate by birthday so to speak by going on a retreat. I am a bit nervous because it's a very reflective retreat based on St. Ignatius of Loyola's spiritual exercises, which means there will be a lot of silence allowing God to speak.