For the first time in the past few days, I woke up with energy and feeling cheery, despite my horrible dreams. I think I was so sorrowful yesterday that there were no tears left in me today and the best I could do was just move on.
Today was one of those days that I truly felt God's presence. And if I didn't feel it at the moment I definitely can recognize it now as I reflect on my day. One of the biggest things that occurred today was that God shed some major light on something I need to work on. Anyone that knows me well knows that the thing that I most want in life is to be married and have a beautiful family. I often get discouraged and angry that God is delaying sending me my Joseph or making my Joe aware that I am his Mary. Today I realized that God is not granting me my desire just yet because I am not ready! They way I react to certain things is not the best way in order to be in a healthy loving relationship. Of course this stems from past deep hurts which first need to be healed in order for me to be in a committed and loving relationship. Like my Catholic sis says, at least I am able to recognize these things but I have no idea how to heal. I guess I just have to be open to Him.
As I drove to church from the gym this afternoon, the sky was just perfect. Barely any clouds. I drove with my windows down, I let my hair down and put on some relaxing tunes. As I breathed in the fresh air and basked in the sunset I really felt God was telling me, "I love you Dolo." So powerful!
During the consecration part of the mass the way the priest broke the host it seemed like it was in the shape of a human heart. I couldn't help but smile with utter joy at seeing this. It also made me think of the Eucharistic Miracle in Lanciano, Italy. It's so amazing to get an image of Jesus' heart before actually receiving Him. Another "I love you Dolo"
I am such an ingrate for not seeing and thanking God for the many times He shows/tells me He loves me.
Showing posts with label Spirituality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spirituality. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
angel flying too close to the ground
"Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven."
- Matthew 18:3
It's so easy for me to see the face of Christ in every child I meet. I think this is why I love children so much. They are simple, innocent and they see things in such a remarkable way. As much as we, as adults, can teach and guide children, we can learn many valuable lessons from them.
Tonight I met a wonderful little angel at the hospital whom we will call Jax. Jax suffers, from what I can assume, a neurological disorder. I never really ask what illness the patients have because I do not want to be nosy, and their disease isn't really relevant to my duties and purpose as a volunteer.
Despite Jax having her head wrapped up and a machine monitoring her brain function, she sported a beautiful smile. She kept calling my friend Juju and I beautiful and that we were the prettiest girls she had seen. Her words were so genuine. She told us so much about the different tests that had been done to her, about her family and all her dolls. Jax said that she loved getting MRIs done and she thought brain surgeons were cool. She wants to be a doctor for big people when she grows up. I was amazed at her courage. She is only about 6 yrs old and she is more brave than I am. I hate MRIs! I come close to having panic attacks every time I get one done.
Jax then revealed to Juju and I her source of strength. Drum roll please...God! She showed us this little doll named Hannah that sang a song: Jesus loves me, this I know. For the bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong; they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. The bible tells me so. Jax sang that song with such enthusiasm and she made Juju and I learn it so we can sing along with her. Her mom told us that Jax had brought that doll with her and she would only listen to that song before going into surgery. I was floored. This little child who was facing such a huge surgery, needed to just listen to this song to be reassured that Jesus was looking over Her. That even though she is weak, she has a Lord who is much stronger than her that was going to take care of her.
Wow...if we could only be more like children.
- Matthew 18:3
It's so easy for me to see the face of Christ in every child I meet. I think this is why I love children so much. They are simple, innocent and they see things in such a remarkable way. As much as we, as adults, can teach and guide children, we can learn many valuable lessons from them.
Tonight I met a wonderful little angel at the hospital whom we will call Jax. Jax suffers, from what I can assume, a neurological disorder. I never really ask what illness the patients have because I do not want to be nosy, and their disease isn't really relevant to my duties and purpose as a volunteer.
Despite Jax having her head wrapped up and a machine monitoring her brain function, she sported a beautiful smile. She kept calling my friend Juju and I beautiful and that we were the prettiest girls she had seen. Her words were so genuine. She told us so much about the different tests that had been done to her, about her family and all her dolls. Jax said that she loved getting MRIs done and she thought brain surgeons were cool. She wants to be a doctor for big people when she grows up. I was amazed at her courage. She is only about 6 yrs old and she is more brave than I am. I hate MRIs! I come close to having panic attacks every time I get one done.
Jax then revealed to Juju and I her source of strength. Drum roll please...God! She showed us this little doll named Hannah that sang a song: Jesus loves me, this I know. For the bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong; they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. The bible tells me so. Jax sang that song with such enthusiasm and she made Juju and I learn it so we can sing along with her. Her mom told us that Jax had brought that doll with her and she would only listen to that song before going into surgery. I was floored. This little child who was facing such a huge surgery, needed to just listen to this song to be reassured that Jesus was looking over Her. That even though she is weak, she has a Lord who is much stronger than her that was going to take care of her.
Wow...if we could only be more like children.
24
In two weeks I will be turning 24...
This is the first year I am not looking forward to my birthday. I am not quite sure why. I don't have a desire to celebrate my b-day and I haven't even made my wishlist. I usually make a wishlist for my birthday, but tell no one about it and then I wait and see how many of the things I wanted I actually got. It's almost a test of how well my friends and family know me.
All I wanted for my birthday was to take the day off and go to the beach or go to a spa or have a shopping day with mom. But I might be traveling soon so I can't be wasteful with PTO days at work. :/
Last night at group we had a woman come and speak to us about a retreat. She asked if anyone of us desires more from life or from our spiritual life. My hand rushed up in the air because if I can point my finger on any emotion I have been feeling lately it would have to be desire...desire for more. I seek depthness. This woman also said that this retreat is good if you have to make some decisions in your life (i.e. vocation, career path). At least those are the two that stuck out most. As this woman spoke I felt my heart on fire. As if God was saying "D, you gotta go!" So me being obessesed with signs said, "Ok God...if you want me there then have someone go with me. Beacuse I am definitely not going by myself." I didn't think anyone would go because two of my close friends had already been on this retreat and the other two I wasn't sure of. So I figured if He really wanted me there, this would be a good sign. As soon as the lady was done speaking, my friend Chuwi said she'd go. I was elated and surprised.
The retreat is next weekend which would be the weekend I could celebrate my birthday. Which got me thinking...I may not want to do anything for my birthday but God does. So I will celebrate by birthday so to speak by going on a retreat. I am a bit nervous because it's a very reflective retreat based on St. Ignatius of Loyola's spiritual exercises, which means there will be a lot of silence allowing God to speak.
This is the first year I am not looking forward to my birthday. I am not quite sure why. I don't have a desire to celebrate my b-day and I haven't even made my wishlist. I usually make a wishlist for my birthday, but tell no one about it and then I wait and see how many of the things I wanted I actually got. It's almost a test of how well my friends and family know me.
All I wanted for my birthday was to take the day off and go to the beach or go to a spa or have a shopping day with mom. But I might be traveling soon so I can't be wasteful with PTO days at work. :/
Last night at group we had a woman come and speak to us about a retreat. She asked if anyone of us desires more from life or from our spiritual life. My hand rushed up in the air because if I can point my finger on any emotion I have been feeling lately it would have to be desire...desire for more. I seek depthness. This woman also said that this retreat is good if you have to make some decisions in your life (i.e. vocation, career path). At least those are the two that stuck out most. As this woman spoke I felt my heart on fire. As if God was saying "D, you gotta go!" So me being obessesed with signs said, "Ok God...if you want me there then have someone go with me. Beacuse I am definitely not going by myself." I didn't think anyone would go because two of my close friends had already been on this retreat and the other two I wasn't sure of. So I figured if He really wanted me there, this would be a good sign. As soon as the lady was done speaking, my friend Chuwi said she'd go. I was elated and surprised.
The retreat is next weekend which would be the weekend I could celebrate my birthday. Which got me thinking...I may not want to do anything for my birthday but God does. So I will celebrate by birthday so to speak by going on a retreat. I am a bit nervous because it's a very reflective retreat based on St. Ignatius of Loyola's spiritual exercises, which means there will be a lot of silence allowing God to speak.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Near the Kingdom of God
I wanted to share today's reflection from the Lenten Magnificat.
The word "love" has taken a beating in recent times. We see and hear it everywhere: in the titles of TV series, on postage stamps, even on protest signs. The more we see and hear the word, the more trivial love seems. But when Jesus reminds us, "You shall love the Lord your God," love becomes mysterious and challenging. To fall in love with someone- or even better, to grow in love for someone- is a long process. It involves two people getting to know each other. They begin to reveal to each other what means most to them, secrets they have kept; they are eager to spend time together; they give each other gifts and come to learn what most pleases the other. Now: how do we fall in love with God? How do we grow in love for God? Can we love the Lord our God? Jesus assures us that we can, but it doesn't happen in an instant, with a few words or a few gestures. Loving God is the work of a lifetime: spending time in prayer and meditation; listening to the still small voice; learning to live as God wills, by justice and charity; contemplating the gifts we receive, the gifts that we easily take for granted. Only then do we grow near the kingdom of God.
by: Father Joseph T. Lienhard, S.J.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
